Southern Women - True or False

I'm sure this has been running the rounds for quite a while, but I like the person who sent it:

Southern Women

• Southern women appreciate their natural assets:  
• Clean skin.  
• A winning smile. 
• That unforgettable Southern drawl.
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• Southern women know their manners:  
• "Yes, ma'am." 
• "Yes, sir." 
• "Why, no, Billy!"
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• Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions :  
• "Y'all come back!" 
• "Well, bless your heart." 
• "Drop by when you can." 
• "How's your Momma?"
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• Southern women know their summer weather report:  
• Humidity  
• Humidity  
• Humidity
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• Southern women know their vacation spots:  
• The beach  
• The rivuh  
• The crick
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• Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:  
• Colorful hi-heel sandals 
• Strapless sun dresses 
• Iced sweet tea with mint 
• Straw hats and big sunglasses
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• Southern women know everybody's first name:  
• Honey  
• Darlin'  
• Shugah
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• Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:  
• Fried Green Tomatoes 
• Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood 
• Steel Magnolias 
• Gone With The Wind
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• Southern women know their religions:  
• Baptist  
• Methodist  
• Football
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• Southern women know their country breakfasts:  
• Red-eye gravy 
• Grits  
• Eggs  
• Country ham 
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• Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly
• Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:  
• Chawl'stn  
• S'vanah  
• Foat Wuth  
• N'awlins  
• Addlanna
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• Southern girls know their prime real estate:  
• The Mall  
• The Country Club 
• The Beauty Salon
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• Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:  
• Having bad hair and nails 
• Having bad manners 
• Cooking bad food
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• More Suth en-ism's:  
• Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them. 
• Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
• peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess." 
• Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."  
• Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in: "Going to town, be back directly." 
• Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle of the table. 
• All Southerners know exactly when "by  and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well. 
• Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor whose  got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!  
• Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece. "They also know that "just down the  road" can be 1 mile or 20. 
• Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a  redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash. 
• No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn. 
• A Southerner knows that  "fixin" can be used as a
• noun, a verb, or an adverb.  
• Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, .. and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody! 
• In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural. 
• Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them. 
• Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.  
• When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner! 
• Only true Southerners say "sweet tea,"  "sweet milk," and "light bread".  Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.  And "Light bread" is white bread. 
• And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" ... and go your own way. 
• To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning. Bless your heart! 
• And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have classes on Southernness as a second language!  
• And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."  
• Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah!

THE FINAL TEST: The meaning of cyarn or kyarn.