RULES OF THE SOUTH
That Highway Patrol Officer that just pulled you over for driving like an idiot...his name is "Sir," no matter how young he is.
We have lots of pine trees. They have sap. It drips from them. You park your Navigator under them, and they'll leave a logo on your hood.
You burn an American flag in our state, you get beat up. No questions. The liberal contingent of our state legislature -- all four of them -- enacted a measure to stop this. There is now a $2.50 fine for beating up the flag burner.
No, we don't care how you do things in California or up North. If it is so great, why not stay there?
And no, down here we don't have an accent, you do.
NOTES ABOUT GEORGIA
The local papers cover national and international news on one page but require 6 pages for local gossip and sports.
You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm".
You know all four seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, still Summer and Christmas.
You know whether another Georgian is from Atlanta, north or south as soon as they open their mouth.
Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Wal-martin" or off to "Wally World"
You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good pinto-bean weather.
A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola or pop...it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinda coke you want?"
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don't need no stinking driver's ed....if our mama says we can drive, we can drive.
When a 57 Chevy was everyone's dream car...to cruise, peel out, lay rubber or watch submarine races, and people went steady?
No one ever asked where the car keys were because they were always in the car, in the ignition, and the doors were never locked?
Lying on your back in the grass with your friends and saying things like, "That cloud looks like a "
and playing baseball with no adults to help kids with the rules of the game?
When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME
When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S